Maggot and Misogyny, by Iain Grant

"FORGET THE BLOODY JARWAL!"

Until a few months ago, I had never heard of Iain Grant, and if stopped in the street by the Spanish Inquisition and questioned of his whereabouts, I wouldn’t have had the foggiest. In fact, I would have been quite surprised. Surprised, because the Spanish Inquisition was in England in the first place and secondly because I hadn’t heard of Grant before. In fact, much like the Spanish Inquisition, Grant’s skilful mix of black comedy and emotional pain is one of the most refreshing and intriguing pieces of writing I have ever read, and if you haven’t read it yet, then perhaps you do deserve a vigorous manhandling by Manwell of the Spanish secret service. ‘Maggot and Misogyny’, follows what initially appears to be a two way conversation, between a writer encountering a few stumbling blocks getting started on his latest work, and his friend. The text alternates between regular and italic text, beginning with what seems to be an unsuccessful attempt at a trashy sci-fi / horror novel. ‘The Jarwal stared at her malevolently, saliva dripping from its gaping jaws,’ The plot quickly develops into a heated debate over the writer's crashed love life, which is the motivation behind the plots comic idea of a Jarwal, which Grant describes as ‘A huge maggot-like beastie with a ferocious temper and huge teeth.’ and numerous plans of gruesome dismemberment. Both the love life and the giant space bug become ongoing jokes, cumulating until the second voice eventually screams in frustration, that the writer should just ‘forget the bloody Jarwal’! Of course there are many comic twists and turns; however Grant flexes his true muscles as a comic genius with one liners including, 'If they met the jarwal on the way there, he would kick it in the nuts...' and the final 'pub' ending, which forms a suitable bathos after the maggots and dismemberment. However, don't be lulled into thinking that the whole written piece is simply a few shots fired at narrative verse and science fiction. The underlying story about the woman leaving him at the airport is similarly side-splitting stuff, and Grant uses reference to the female thorn in his side to break up different ideas the writer has for plots, never giving the reader quite what they want. 'Why was there a maggot in her ear? I don't know. Don't try to think about it. Don't try to work it out. Feel the answer. Because she left me.' If someone else had tried this, it might not have come off quite as well as it did, but Grant persevered with the text to a point where the maggot, the misogyny and dismemberment along with the underlying sense of pity the writer feels for himself, and an underlying suspicion that the reader has about the second voice, all joined together to form one beautiful whole piece. Everybody has been 'dumped' sometimes, and everyone goes through painful stages of inner confliction over the ones they loved. The writer voice in 'Maggot and Misogyny' talks out his problems with his friend, and then, in true lad style, they traipse off to the pub to get wrecked. Admittedly Grant's creation is a definite love or hate phenomenon, and whilst some people may fall in love with a story that can connect to so many of us at different points in our lives, there will be some people who find the dialogue too repetitive, with little or no resolution. However, it is important to remember that hard break-ups very little often have a resolution, and sometimes, as exploited in the recent box-office hit, 'Shaun of the Dead', the only solution is beer! At the end of the day, Grant's short story is just that. At only seven pages long, it is a traditional, unique short work, with about as much plot as possible. So much can be read into the dialect between the writer and his friend. Where do we all go when our best friends or loved ones cast us aside like not so many useless rags? Ourselves; and that is the key to 'Maggot and Misogyny'. No one has any better critic, or more honest voice in his or her head. The key lies in finding that voice, and Grant seems to suggest this, as the reader continues through the exchange, wanting to find out what happens to the poor (and perhaps slightly schitsophrenic) writer, and wanting to know just who the second voice is. A story about writing a story? Well it's obviously far more than that, but exactly what I think, is up to you. Bear in mind that a recent survey shows that up to 82% of Britains talk to themselves in private (and one or two special cases in public!). Give it a read and you can't go far wrong. You can go to the main short stories page at East of the Web (see links page), and find it from there if you like the sound of it. Or alternatively, you can got to East of the Web and see what else you can find. So many choices, and so little time before the Jarwals land! :p -Jon Also by Iain Grant, 'A Case of Displacement' -----------------------------------